As I promised last year, I began 2012 by watching the two videos below. These talks by  Brené Brown and Steve Jobs inspire me as much today as they did when I first heard them. I invite you to watch the videos and be inspired too.

Wishing you all an abundance of love and happiness in 2012. Happy New Year!

As you all know, I love challenges, so I have created a new one for December.

THE JOY CHALLENGE: Every day this month notice, do, create … something small that ignites a spark of joy in you or someone else.

Please feel free to share your results here if you would like to do so. ‘Tis the season to spread joy.

Happy Holidays!

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Day 1: Cold blustery day; the snow is coming down hard. What a joy it is to stay inside and work by the fire.

Day 2: I met two new people today who share common passions with me. I so enjoyed my conversations with them.

Day 3: Joy is sitting at my desk in a warm cozy house with three loving dogs lying on the floor surrounding me.

Day 4: Clean sheets – so simple yet still a joy.

Day 5: The joy of smiling at someone and seeing him smile back.

Day 6: Signed up for a small business building program – joy in anticipating what’s to come.

Day 7: Holiday Joy – visiting Papyrus and selecting a greeting card for a very dear friend.

Day 8: Nothing quite like the joy my golden retriever, Zydeco, finds in fetching his stuffed duck. 

Day 9: I love seeing holiday decorations in people’s yards, shopping malls, city parks…. Twinkling lights – twinkling heart.

Day 10: Joy in discovering a “new” old movie, “Sweet November,” and watching it while sipping spiced cider and sitting on my comfy couch.

Day 11: Joy in listening to the gentle flow of water – traveling mindfully through bamboo onto smooth grey stones. I love my Zen fountain.

Day 12: Joy is having a warm, comfortable bed to rest in while I’m feeling under the weather. 

Day 13: After my father passed away, I adopted his blind and deaf Bichon Frise. It gives me joy that Pepi has adjusted to his new environment and now considers my house “home.”

Day 14: Joy = Comforting Circle of Canine Companions

Day 15: Being sick is not all bad – joy in drinking black chai tea and reading an interesting book while resting in bed.

Day 16: Finding joy in sweet memories of my childhood.

Day 17: I mail-ordered a Christmas gift for a friend in Michigan. The vendor accidently mailed it to a house in Pennsylvania. When the house’s owner opened the package and saw the invoice, she realized that the gift-wrapped box inside was not intended for her. She emailed me last night that she’s going to the post office this morning to mail the package. She hopes that it will get to Michigan in time for Christmas. I offered to reimburse her for the postage, but she said “No.” This lovely act of kindness and generosity brings me joy. It also reaffirms my belief that there is a great deal of genuine goodness in the world.

Day 18: The first bar of a zydeco song – my heart’s already dancing.

Day 19: Joy in playing a role in making something nice happen for someone else.

Day 20: Joy in seeing my postman’s smile when I gave him his Christmas present.

Day 21: I spent several hours cleaning and organizing the house. Though the chores themselves were not fun, quite remarkable is the joy derived from a tidy space.

Day 22: Joy in giving the man who shoveled my sidewalk today an unexpected tip and wishing him a Merry Christmas.

Day 23: Listening to Christmas carols – Joy in the House and Joy to the World.

Day 24: Today is Liza Jolie’s birthday, and she received a new ball and stuffed duck. I don’t know which one of us is experiencing more joy – Liza playing with her toys or me watching Liza play.

Day 25: Missing my parents and remembering Christmases past. Joy has many flavors. Today’s is bittersweet.

Day 26: I was driving down Sixth Avenue and spotted a big snowman on the parkway. He was adorable with his evergreen branch arms reaching out as though to wave hello and hug everyone who drove by. I smiled instantly and imagined the joy someone had in creating him. Joy is infectious, so I felt it too. I’ve added building a snowman to my “To Do” list.

Day 27: Joy in swapping pet stories with fellow animal lovers.

Day 28: Joy in making a new friend.

Day 29: Joy in conversing with dear longtime friends. Some activities grow old, but that never does.

Day 30: I had a most delightful time eating lunch with one of my best friends and catching up on things. Joy in connection.

Day 31: The sun rises – the same sun as yesterday yet so different. I listen to the wild gusting wind and hear the roar of the Pacific Ocean while standing on the High Plains of Colorado. I watch my new prayer flags wave along side the old. And my heart is dancing, dancing joyously in gratitude for 2011 and eager anticipation of 2012.

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In past few weeks following my father’s death, I have discovered that there are so many things for which I am thankful – friends, laughter, empathy, wonderful memories, golden retrievers, beautiful sunsets, quiet moments, breathing - life itself. I realize that even in times of grief, everyday blessings and joys continue to be there; we just have to be more deliberate in directing our attention to them.  

This week, I intend to be more deliberate in directing my attention to the blessings in my life. I invite you to be more deliberate too and issue the following challenge:

Every night this week, write down one blessing or good thing (it can be tiny) in your life for which you are thankful.

Please feel free to share here if you would like to do so. I’d love to hear about the blessings and good things in your life. 

Wishing you a bountiful Thanksgiving and sending love.

…

Monday, November 21, 2011: I am thankful for the warmth and radiance of Colorado sunlight on a crisp autumn day.

Tuesday, November 22, 2011: I look at the veining in my textured tile floor. Today I see a hot air balloon floating in clouds. On other days I have seen dragons, a field of blowing poppies, Pegasus with outspread wings….. I am thankful for being human and a precious gift that comes with that – the gift of imagination.

Wednesday, November 23, 2011: Beautiful view of the mountains on my drive to Boulder today. I am thankful for the wonders of Colorado.

Thursday, November 24, 2011: Today, I am thankful for a roof over my head, enough food, heat, electricity, running water, plumbing – things that seem basic to some but are not basic for so many others. I’m grateful to have these things in my life and pray that some day soon no one will be without them.

Friday, November 25, 2011: Today I am thankful for the love and companionship of my wonderful dogs. What joys they are.

Saturday, November 26, 2011: Today I am thankful for technology. I’m listening to CDs of a two-day workshop while sitting on my couch, sipping hot apple cider, and enjoying the comfort of my home.

Sunday, November 27, 2011: Today I am thankful for pleasant surprises like the dreamcatcher I found in my mailbox – a special calling card from a friend.

Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come. (Rabindranath Tagore)

If there ever comes a day when we can’t be together, put me in your heart. I’ll stay there forever. (A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh)

My Father: Robert C. Hawley, Sr.
August 7, 1920 – October 7, 2011

He’s back in the saddle again.

The past week I’ve been asking myself, “What should I write about?”  The first time I asked this question, I heard a soft voice whispering: “Write from the heart.” The response didn’t make sense to me. It addressed how to write but not what to write. How could I write from the heart when I had nothing to write about?

I asked the question again: What should I write about?”

And again, the voice whispered, this time not so softly: “Write from the heart.”

Write from the heart. What does that mean?

Write from the heart means writing about what you know. It doesn’t matter if your subject has been written about by someone else. No one perceives or experiences things in exactly the same way you do. Thousands of people have written about 9/11, and every one of them has a different story about that day.

You have stories that only you can tell. If you don’t tell them, no one else will, and they will be lost to the world. Your stories add new perspective. They contribute to the richness and texture of other people’s lives. It would be selfish not to share them.

Write from the heart. What does that mean?

Write from the heart means writing in a style that’s unique to you, using your words in the way you would use them. Growing up I often felt my language was inadequate. I found myself using quotes in essays because I believed others could express what I had to say better than I could. I also believed that I had nothing new to add. I was wrong.

It’s important to learn the basics of good writing, which we learn by reading the work of other writers.  As Twyla Tharp wrote in her book, The Creative Habit: “Before you can think out of the box, you have to start with a box.”  After you have familiarized yourself with the box, however, venture beyond its confines. Don’t imitate others. Write in a way that says: “This is me speaking.”

Write from the heart. What does that mean?

Write from the heart means writing what you want to say and what you want others to know. Forget about writing what people want to read. Forget about seeking their approval. We try so hard to fit in and have others like us that we often abandon essential parts of ourselves. Write for you. Write from a place of authenticity, and don’t compromise your truth. Do this, and you will approve of you.

Write from the heart. What does that mean?

Write from the heart means writing “right from the heart.” Speak honestly and openly about whom you are and what you are feeling. “Right from the heart” is about being willing to expose yourself and put your vulnerability on the line. When you do this, you will genuinely connect with those readers to whom you are meant to connect. You will find your tribe, a group to which you belong, not just fit in.

Write from the heart. What does that mean?

Write from the heart means giving voice to those things you need to say – to yourself and to others. As a child, I often felt inconsequential, a feeling I now know isn’t true. Even so, I sometimes fall into old beliefs and find it necessary to say to myself that I matter. I need to say that you matter too.

What do you find necessary to say to yourself? What do you find necessary to say to others?

Write from the heart. What does that mean?

Write from the heart means dare to be YOU.

We are born knowing exactly who we are. Over the years we abandon or neglect much of what we know about ourselves. Fortunately, it’s never too late to rediscover who we are.

September is here. Growing up, this was always my favorite time of year. It meant going back to school, being with friends, and learning something new. As I walked my golden retrievers today, I felt nostalgic. I missed being a student; I missed my wonderful teachers.

Suddenly I felt a tug on both leashes. “What about us? We’re your teachers,” Liza Jolie and Zydeco Ardoin not so gently reminded me.

Of course, Liza and Zydeco were right. We never stop being students. Everything in our lives – people, animals, circumstances, everything – serves as our teacher. Both of my golden retrievers are excellent teachers. We all can learn by following their example.

Gratitude

Zydeco loves stuffed toys. He drops his duck, gorilla, hedgehog, or whatever the toy du jour is, at my feet. He wags his tail, looks up expectantly, and begs me to throw it again and again. There can be no doubt about his appreciation, no doubt about his joy.

No Comparative Mind

Liza loves balls. With jaws locked, she holds on to her pink tennis ball relentlessly.  Her enthusiasm for “keep away” isn’t dampened by comparative thinking. She’d never feel discontent or refuse to play because her ball is the wrong color, the wrong shape, or the wrong size.

Living in the Moment

A few months ago, Zydeco developed a problem with his breathing. I struggle with this. I worry about his condition worsening, about his suffering, about what I’ll do without him. Sometimes I get lost in worry, and ironically, it’s Zydie who helps me find my way again. Lovingly resting his head in my lap, he smiles in that way only a golden retriever can smile. “I’m still here Mom. Let’s make the most of now.” Zydeco isn’t worried about what may or may not happen tomorrow. Every day, he still brings his leash to me, insisting that it’s time for a walk. He revels in playing with Liza, enjoys his treats, and feasts on love and attention. Zydeco is an expert at being present and living in the moment.

Focus & Flow

There’s nothing quite like Liza’s ability to focus when she spies a squirrel. She immediately sets an intention to catch that peculiar little creature with a bushy tail. It’s a challenging intention, but she never waivers in her resolve. She never doubts her ability to accomplish the task at hand. Rather, she engages in it wholeheartedly. Lizie waits patiently, not moving a muscle, then gives chase when the time seems right. The squirrels who hang out in my yard seem to enjoy the game as much as she does. They race back and forth along the fence, chattering at her: “Catch me if you can.” Liza can play this game for hours. She gets so engrossed, she even forgets her mealtime. For Liza, that’s saying a lot. If I didn’t know better, I would say she was experiencing what we human beings define as “flow.”

Play

For Liza and Zydeco, play is a daily practice. They love to wrestle, lunging at one another in midair and rolling, furiously intertwined, on the grass. I’m amazed they never harm one another, but they play by a well-understood set of rules:  “I can use only this much force. I can bite only this hard….” Liza and Zydie don’t play out of a sense of necessity but for the sheer joy of doing it. Both of them inspire me – they inspire me to play like a dog.

Love & Forgiveness

Zydeco really doesn’t like taking his meds. “Why Mom, do you make me swallow those ghastly pills?” Liza makes it perfectly clear how much she detests walking with a gentle lead. Every once in a while one of them gets underfoot, and I step on his or her paw.  Even so, all is quickly forgiven; neither of them harbors anger or resentment. Have you ever run into someone who hurt your feelings years ago, someone you haven’t seen since that time? When you run into him or her, do you see someone who has hurt you or who that person is today? Zydeco and Liza see only the latter. I wish the same were always true of me.

The above are only a few of the lessons I’ve learned from my dogs.  Thank you Liza and Zydeco for being my teachers and for sharing your golden wisdom. I am extremely grateful to have you in my life.

This is an excellent talk by Dan Buettner about longevity and aging well. I love the idea of asking ourselves: “What is the reason for which I wake up in the morning?” It turns out having a meaningful answer to this question can add years to our lives.