The Joy Challenge
Day 26: I was driving down Sixth Avenue and spotted a big snowman on the parkway. He was adorable with his evergreen branch arms reaching out as though to wave hello and hug everyone who drove by. I smiled instantly and imagined the joy someone had in creating him. Joy is infectious, so I felt it too. I’ve added building a snowman to my “To Do” list.
Thanksgiving Week Challenge
In past few weeks following my father’s death, I have discovered that there are so many things for which I am thankful – friends, laughter, empathy, wonderful memories, golden retrievers, beautiful sunsets, quiet moments, breathing - life itself. I realize that even in times of grief, everyday blessings and joys continue to be there; we just have to be more deliberate in directing our attention to them.
This week, I intend to be more deliberate in directing my attention to the blessings in my life. I invite you to be more deliberate too and issue the following challenge:
Every night this week, write down one blessing or good thing (it can be tiny) in your life for which you are thankful.
Please feel free to share here if you would like to do so. I’d love to hear about the blessings and good things in your life.
Wishing you a bountiful Thanksgiving and sending love.
…
Monday, November 21, 2011: I am thankful for the warmth and radiance of Colorado sunlight on a crisp autumn day.
Tuesday, November 22, 2011: I look at the veining in my textured tile floor. Today I see a hot air balloon floating in clouds. On other days I have seen dragons, a field of blowing poppies, Pegasus with outspread wings….. I am thankful for being human and a precious gift that comes with that – the gift of imagination.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011: Beautiful view of the mountains on my drive to Boulder today. I am thankful for the wonders of Colorado.
Thursday, November 24, 2011: Today, I am thankful for a roof over my head, enough food, heat, electricity, running water, plumbing – things that seem basic to some but are not basic for so many others. I’m grateful to have these things in my life and pray that some day soon no one will be without them.
Friday, November 25, 2011: Today I am thankful for the love and companionship of my wonderful dogs. What joys they are.
Saturday, November 26, 2011: Today I am thankful for technology. I’m listening to CDs of a two-day workshop while sitting on my couch, sipping hot apple cider, and enjoying the comfort of my home.
Sunday, November 27, 2011: Today I am thankful for pleasant surprises like the dreamcatcher I found in my mailbox – a special calling card from a friend.
Death
Death is not extinguishing the light; it is only putting out the lamp because the dawn has come. (Rabindranath Tagore)
Robert Cross Hawley, Sr.
My Father: Robert C. Hawley, Sr.
August 7, 1920 – October 7, 2011
He’s back in the saddle again.
Write from the Heart
The past week I’ve been asking myself, “What should I write about?” The first time I asked this question, I heard a soft voice whispering: “Write from the heart.” The response didn’t make sense to me. It addressed how to write but not what to write. How could I write from the heart when I had nothing to write about?
I asked the question again: What should I write about?”
And again, the voice whispered, this time not so softly: “Write from the heart.”
Write from the heart. What does that mean?
Write from the heart means writing about what you know. It doesn’t matter if your subject has been written about by someone else. No one perceives or experiences things in exactly the same way you do. Thousands of people have written about 9/11, and every one of them has a different story about that day.
You have stories that only you can tell. If you don’t tell them, no one else will, and they will be lost to the world. Your stories add new perspective. They contribute to the richness and texture of other people’s lives. It would be selfish not to share them.
Write from the heart. What does that mean?
Write from the heart means writing in a style that’s unique to you, using your words in the way you would use them. Growing up I often felt my language was inadequate. I found myself using quotes in essays because I believed others could express what I had to say better than I could. I also believed that I had nothing new to add. I was wrong.
It’s important to learn the basics of good writing, which we learn by reading the work of other writers. As Twyla Tharp wrote in her book, The Creative Habit: “Before you can think out of the box, you have to start with a box.” After you have familiarized yourself with the box, however, venture beyond its confines. Don’t imitate others. Write in a way that says: “This is me speaking.”
Write from the heart. What does that mean?
Write from the heart means writing what you want to say and what you want others to know. Forget about writing what people want to read. Forget about seeking their approval. We try so hard to fit in and have others like us that we often abandon essential parts of ourselves. Write for you. Write from a place of authenticity, and don’t compromise your truth. Do this, and you will approve of you.
Write from the heart. What does that mean?
Write from the heart means writing “right from the heart.” Speak honestly and openly about whom you are and what you are feeling. “Right from the heart” is about being willing to expose yourself and put your vulnerability on the line. When you do this, you will genuinely connect with those readers to whom you are meant to connect. You will find your tribe, a group to which you belong, not just fit in.
Write from the heart. What does that mean?
Write from the heart means giving voice to those things you need to say – to yourself and to others. As a child, I often felt inconsequential, a feeling I now know isn’t true. Even so, I sometimes fall into old beliefs and find it necessary to say to myself that I matter. I need to say that you matter too.
What do you find necessary to say to yourself? What do you find necessary to say to others?
Write from the heart. What does that mean?
Write from the heart means dare to be YOU.
Rediscovering Ourselves
We are born knowing exactly who we are. Over the years we abandon or neglect much of what we know about ourselves. Fortunately, it’s never too late to rediscover who we are.
Posted in An Aha Life, midlife, reJOYvenating, second half of life
Tagged authenticity, essential self, rediscovery
Leave a comment
Golden Retriever Wisdom
September is here. Growing up, this was always my favorite time of year. It meant going back to school, being with friends, and learning something new. As I walked my golden retrievers today, I felt nostalgic. I missed being a student; I missed my wonderful teachers.
Suddenly I felt a tug on both leashes. “What about us? We’re your teachers,” Liza Jolie and Zydeco Ardoin not so gently reminded me.
Of course, Liza and Zydeco were right. We never stop being students. Everything in our lives – people, animals, circumstances, everything – serves as our teacher. Both of my golden retrievers are excellent teachers. We all can learn by following their example.
Gratitude
Zydeco loves stuffed toys. He drops his duck, gorilla, hedgehog, or whatever the toy du jour is, at my feet. He wags his tail, looks up expectantly, and begs me to throw it again and again. There can be no doubt about his appreciation, no doubt about his joy.
No Comparative Mind
Liza loves balls. With jaws locked, she holds on to her pink tennis ball relentlessly. Her enthusiasm for “keep away” isn’t dampened by comparative thinking. She’d never feel discontent or refuse to play because her ball is the wrong color, the wrong shape, or the wrong size.
Living in the Moment
A few months ago, Zydeco developed a problem with his breathing. I struggle with this. I worry about his condition worsening, about his suffering, about what I’ll do without him. Sometimes I get lost in worry, and ironically, it’s Zydie who helps me find my way again. Lovingly resting his head in my lap, he smiles in that way only a golden retriever can smile. “I’m still here Mom. Let’s make the most of now.” Zydeco isn’t worried about what may or may not happen tomorrow. Every day, he still brings his leash to me, insisting that it’s time for a walk. He revels in playing with Liza, enjoys his treats, and feasts on love and attention. Zydeco is an expert at being present and living in the moment.
Focus & Flow
There’s nothing quite like Liza’s ability to focus when she spies a squirrel. She immediately sets an intention to catch that peculiar little creature with a bushy tail. It’s a challenging intention, but she never waivers in her resolve. She never doubts her ability to accomplish the task at hand. Rather, she engages in it wholeheartedly. Lizie waits patiently, not moving a muscle, then gives chase when the time seems right. The squirrels who hang out in my yard seem to enjoy the game as much as she does. They race back and forth along the fence, chattering at her: “Catch me if you can.” Liza can play this game for hours. She gets so engrossed, she even forgets her mealtime. For Liza, that’s saying a lot. If I didn’t know better, I would say she was experiencing what we human beings define as “flow.”
Play
For Liza and Zydeco, play is a daily practice. They love to wrestle, lunging at one another in midair and rolling, furiously intertwined, on the grass. I’m amazed they never harm one another, but they play by a well-understood set of rules: “I can use only this much force. I can bite only this hard….” Liza and Zydie don’t play out of a sense of necessity but for the sheer joy of doing it. Both of them inspire me – they inspire me to play like a dog.
Love & Forgiveness
Zydeco really doesn’t like taking his meds. “Why Mom, do you make me swallow those ghastly pills?” Liza makes it perfectly clear how much she detests walking with a gentle lead. Every once in a while one of them gets underfoot, and I step on his or her paw. Even so, all is quickly forgiven; neither of them harbors anger or resentment. Have you ever run into someone who hurt your feelings years ago, someone you haven’t seen since that time? When you run into him or her, do you see someone who has hurt you or who that person is today? Zydeco and Liza see only the latter. I wish the same were always true of me.
The above are only a few of the lessons I’ve learned from my dogs. Thank you Liza and Zydeco for being my teachers and for sharing your golden wisdom. I am extremely grateful to have you in my life.
Posted in An Aha Life, reJOYvenating
Tagged comparative mind, flow, focus, forgiveness, golden retriever, golden retriever wisdom, gratitude, living in the moment, love, play
6 Comments
Longevity and Aging Well
This is an excellent talk by Dan Buettner about longevity and aging well. I love the idea of asking ourselves: “What is the reason for which I wake up in the morning?” It turns out having a meaningful answer to this question can add years to our lives.
Sunrise Challenge
August 2011 Challenge: First thing every morning for the remaining days in August write down one positive thought. Make sure doing this is the first thing you do when you wake up. It will be helpful to keep a pen and journal, notebook, or pad of paper by your bed.
Your positive thought can be just one sentence, a phrase, or even a few select words. Possible examples: ”Joe is a kind man;” “I love pasta;” “awesome sunset last night;” “Purple is cool.”
Note if your day is different at all because you started it this way. Note if anything is different at the end of the month.
Please feel free to share your positive thoughts or any differences you feel or experience in the comments section here. Most of all, enjoy!
***
August 15, 2011: My dogs make me laugh.
August 16, 2011: I love the cool morning air teasing me with Autumn’s approaoch.
August 17, 2011: Something good will happen today.
August 18, 2011: Thank heaven for the electric fan. What an amazing invention it is.
August 19, 2011: I’m looking forward to attending Creative Connections this morning.
August 20, 2011: Crooning crows in tall trees awaken the sleeping sky; isn’t dawn amazing?
August 21, 2011: Every moment affords an opportunity to begin again.
August 22, 2011: Clean sheets, so simple yet such joy.
August 23, 2011: Today I may meet someone I’ve haven’t met before, see something in a different light, learn something new…. Today is a day of magical mystery and precious possibility.
August 24, 2011: It’s the right time to write.
August 25, 2011: So much to be grateful for: my dogs, my friends, the kindness of others, this beautiful morning….
August 26, 2011: Today I will lead my life; it will not lead me.
August 27, 2011: I’m volunteering at Thich Nhat Hanh’s talk; it will be wonderful to hear Thay speak.
August 28, 2011: There is something extraordinarily lovely in the quiet of early morning.
August 29, 2011: New day, new week, almost new month. It’s all very exciting. This morning I welcome and embrace change.
August 30, 2011: I’ve made progress by veering away from the roadblocks on my expected course and creating new, previously unimagined, avenues. It feels good.
August 31, 2011: Today is the last day of the August Sunrise Challenge. Mission Accomplished. Love the sense of completion that comes with that.
An Extraordinary Life
